Treat yourself to a delightful spin on a classic mocktail, brimming with dark memories (erm..., I mean fruits).
Ingredients:
100g of fresh blueberries (handpicked from your local supermarket)
Handful ice cubes
2 tablespoons of sugar syrup
A dash of lemon juice
Some spring mint
Sparkling water
A Pinch of Sarcasm (to taste)
Instructions:
1. Begin by crushing blueberries with a fork in a shaker, just as my mother crushed my teenage self-confidence with her unreasonable expectations. Embrace the bitterness and sweetness of fresh blueberries as you blend, ignoring any lumps of unresolved personal issues.
2. Once the blueberries are sufficiently smushed, add plenty of ice to the shaker and shake vigorously until the mixture is well chilled. Ice cubes are perfect to numb the sting of any mother's harsh criticism.
3. Now, pour in the sugar syrup, adding layers of superficial sweetness to the juice. This will mask the underlying defensiveness and emotional instability of your blueberries.
4. For an extra kick, consider adding a dash of lemon juice. While it may not erase the bitterness of your blueberries, it will provide a refreshing distraction from any emotional turmoil. After all, sometimes a little sourness from lemon juice and bubbles from sparkling water can make life a bit more exciting.
5. Once the mixture reaches a harmonious balance of flavours and emotions, pour it into a fancy glass. Garnish with some fresh mint leaves and a bit of sarcasm. Humour is the best defence mechanism against anyone's judgement of your perfectly crafted blueberry mocktail.
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Writing satire around the Blueberry juice recipe while incorporating themes of overcoming childhood trauma provided me a platform to explore important issues in a lighthearted and thought-provoking way while saving fortune on not seeing an expensive therapist. Visit me in person for more advice on how to cut costs and survive the cost-of-living crisis.